This pearl was submitted by international best-selling author, Paul Stoltz. He's the founder and CEO of Peak Learning, and the originator of AQ, Adversity Quotient, the most widely adopted method for measuring and strengthening human resilience. He is also a devoted husband, father, and grandfather!
When I was a hormone-fueled teen filled too much "tude," I turned to my father after he caught me lying about doing my homework and said, "Who wants to go to college anyway? Maybe I won't even go!" Instead of getting mad, my father paused, looked at me and said, "That's fine! A person's worth is not decided by his education. If you really don't want to go, and you're happy with the opportunities life offers supporting yourself without a degree, then don't go! That's entirely up to you."
That's when I learned a simple mantra that helped my wife Ronda and me with our kids and grandkids: If it matters more to you than it does to them, they've won, and you've lost. "It" can include grades, school, performance, piano lessons...anything. If it matters more to you than it does to them, they win, and you tend to lose.
So, as my father taught me, a great parent is one who helps kids discover why "it" matters to them.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
A Pearl From My Mom
It's hard to believe that it's been nearly 8 years since my mom passed away. Throughout the years, I sense that she's been guiding many of us from a faraway place. Yet she seems to whisper right into my ear at times. I feel her presence when things seem so difficult, and also when things are going gangbusters great.
We've just returned from a glorious 12 days in Kauai, and every once in awhile during the trip I felt my mom right next to me, taking in the beauty of the crashing waves, double rainbows, and dazzling sunsets. It's been 13 years since I was last in Hawaii, and on that trip both my mom and dad joined us. This time, my dad was there in body, and my mom was there in spirit.
My dad and I had some good talks on the trip. He reminded me of two things he and my mom always hoped for when raising the four of us. One is that we would always be there for each other, through thick and thin. The second is that each of us would find at least one endeavor that we felt *really* good about...a sport, an academic goal, any passion in life that brings happiness and confidence. It can sometimes take time to find these passions, but the journey is part of the fun!
We've just returned from a glorious 12 days in Kauai, and every once in awhile during the trip I felt my mom right next to me, taking in the beauty of the crashing waves, double rainbows, and dazzling sunsets. It's been 13 years since I was last in Hawaii, and on that trip both my mom and dad joined us. This time, my dad was there in body, and my mom was there in spirit.
My dad and I had some good talks on the trip. He reminded me of two things he and my mom always hoped for when raising the four of us. One is that we would always be there for each other, through thick and thin. The second is that each of us would find at least one endeavor that we felt *really* good about...a sport, an academic goal, any passion in life that brings happiness and confidence. It can sometimes take time to find these passions, but the journey is part of the fun!
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